Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Home at Last

After 46 days, we finally brought Daddy home.  It is a little frightening for us all after so much time.  He has received such great care while in the hospital, are we going to be able to provide what he needs at home?  He is so frail and thin now and weak as a kitten.  Like I mentioned before, he was always such a strong man, that it is so difficult to see him in this state.  Getting from the driveway into the house was so hard for him.  He hates and I mean HATES that he has to have help to do even the simplest things.  We had a conversation earlier today about how hard it is to ask anyone for help.  The cancer is robbing him of his independence and it is so very sad to see.  I worry that taking care of him is going to be so hard for my step mom.  I want to be here every minute to help, but realistically I know that I can't.  While I work for an awesome company that is allowing me to work from my dad's home, I have responsibilities at my own home.  The 90 miles between our homes seems so far these days. 

So anyway, we are in a place now where he is home from the hospital, but we don't really know what's next.  We have an appointment scheduled next week with the oncologist to see what the next step is.  I know that he feels like daddy needs to be much stronger than he is now to withstand any kind of chemotherapy.  I am not sure how he is to get stronger when he isn't eating hardly a thing and any exertion is very difficult.  I am emotional today about entering the next phase and am struggling to be positive.  One day at a time has been my mantra for many weeks and I am trying to just hang on to that.  I am grateful, though that daddy is home at last. 

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