Thursday, July 14, 2011

Crying on the Patio

My parents divorced when I was 12 or 13, I can't really remember now.  I always loved my dad, but those weekend visits were so hard sometimes.  It wasn't that I didn't want to spend time at my dad's house, but all my friends were back in my neighborhood.  I didn't want to miss out on any fun that might be going on in my absence.  Of course, I was a teenager too, so whatever boy had my attention at the time was far more important to me than spending any time with my dad.  I'd have time for that later.  Today, when I was sitting at the hospital watching my pop sleep, I was thanking God for that moment with him, and the next, and the next.  Life really goes by in a minute and I regret all those times that I avoided the weekend visits as a young girl because as an adult, I realize that hurt him and I am sorry for that.

Today was not a great day.  Daddy is discouraged and depressed and really didn't have a whole lot to say.  He has been reading that book "Heaven is Real", and while I am glad that he is reading something that choice makes me certain that he is scared.  I sort of like it when he sleeps a lot becuase when he is sleeping he is not thinking about his situation or uncomfortable.  He still has quite a few visitors and that cheers him.  Cards cheer him, too although they are slowing down.  If you would like to send him a card, send me an email and I will share his address.  My email is

Tonight Jan and I sat on the patio and had one of what I am sure will be many conversations about daddy's future and our lives without him.  There is a special piece of my heart breaking for her because she is losing the person she chose to spend her life with.  I'm sure she has her own fears about her future without my dad in her life.  I'm saying special prayers for her.  While it was a tough day, it was nice sitting with her outside watching the sunset, listening to the birds and crying on the patio. 

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